maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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