as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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