My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
