there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we're making bets on your personal life
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I am naked and annoyed.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
