my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
handjob tips. give me some.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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