I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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