I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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