Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I made him laugh his dick is mine
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
