I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
