I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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