he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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