If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
