ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize