the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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