Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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