Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
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