My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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