i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
40s are totally the cure
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize