Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
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she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
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oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize