oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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