my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
