Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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