What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
