This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize