Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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