yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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