five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize