Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
