garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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