There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
