We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?