i would punch a child for taco bell
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight