1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
zippers are such a cool invention
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run