I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve