I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
