My first STD was from a foam party
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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