He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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