he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
