I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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