I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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