I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
