Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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