Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
