I feel great
I just peed on a car
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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