Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
