i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
