I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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