He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
