Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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