just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
