i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
