nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
