she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
