I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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