I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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