I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
