Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
