My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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