I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
