if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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